he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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