you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
