remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
