4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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