I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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