Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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