he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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