I think my vagina is haunted
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
