Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
