Grow some girl-balls and come out already
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
