There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
