Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
