Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
