it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
