3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
