Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine

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(828): View more from North Carolina

i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!

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(443): View more from Maryland

Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.

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