oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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