guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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