my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
