Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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