We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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