Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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