She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize