But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
