I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I looked at my own cervix.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
