I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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