you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
