Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
