if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
