Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
