theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
