I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
