She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize