I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
