i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
COCAINE IS GR8
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
