Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
