oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
