We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
