Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
