Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
