Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize