But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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