also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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