my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize