theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
