hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
