I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
