So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
