FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize