I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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