Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Holy sore nipples Batman
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
