WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
