We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize