when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
