I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
