She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
