Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
