Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
