At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
