do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize