My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
