Are we in a gay sports bar?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
