i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
