I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
