He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Come on in and take your pants off
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