the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
