i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
