Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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