I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
FUCK WHALES
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