i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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