oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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